A Second Thought

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Where do your values lie? I know, starting off with a generic and cliche question, how thoughtful. But really, think about it, what’s your answer? Do you care more about yourself or others? Selfish or selfless? Well honestly, you can’t be one or the other all of the time.

Another question, what are your flaws? I’ll tell you mine. I’m really awkward when I first meet a person, my bones break easily, and most importantly, I can be really harsh sometimes. My problem is that when something frustrates me, I don’t tell anyone. I live under the fallacy of, “I can put up with it.” That is, until seething with resentment finally catches up with me and I break, having big blow ups over relatively miniscule things that could’ve been left unsaid. Which is exactly what happened last Sunday night.

I had been pretty upset with ASB for a while. What I wanted my experience to look like wasn’t happening, and the frustration grew and grew and grew. I became unsettled anytime I was in class, just due to the fact that I felt like nothing would change and it would just be another day of the same old same old. This irritation led to a pessimistic approach to everything. So quite honestly I’m sure there were many times I should’ve been content with the workload, but I wouldn’t let myself be because I didn’t want to give in.

So Sunday night when I was done procrastinating and starting thinking of what to write, it seemed obvious. It was an issue to me, I had an opinion, and I felt my readers would be better off by giving them the knowledge I had. Well let me tell you, right here, right now, I was wrong.

What should’ve been a straightforward and to the point article was swallowed by pure emotion and annoyance. I threw my fellow classmates under the bus, and for what, because we hadn’t been operating at the level I felt we should have? Tell me how is that fair? I made it seem like ASB is a classroom full of animals who do nothing but sing kumbaya and talk about their feelings. Well to set the record straight, that’s not it at all.

ASB is freaking awesome. Despite one bad assembly, everything else has been amazing so far. We set up spirit days, dances, a tailgate, I mean we broke a freaking record for Homecoming attendance! And you know what? People need to realize that more, including myself. And yeah, there’s been some bad decisions, but we’ve corrected them. Bad DJ? See ya later. Negative feedback to dance scheduling? We moved it. And the best part? We’ve been underdogs since the beginning of the year! Between a late start, a new advisor, and a large portion of the class having very little to no experience, we were doomed to fail. But we overcame all of that, and here we are. It’s the middle of January, and there’s a dance next weekend that should hopefully be the best Prairie has seen in years. We planned an awesome assembly that included the most student participation anyone has ever heard of. And better yet, we’re all friends…for the most part.

One of the biggest reasons I’m writing this is because of what happened in 5th period yesterday. I received a text from a fellow ASB member, but more importantly, a close friend. They explained they read my article, and how upset it made them. Immediately I got defensive, stating I had a right to my opinion. But the conversation wore on me more and more, until it was all I could think about. Was being right more important than my friendships? The answer was obviously no, and thus here we are. I started this article by saying you can’t only be selfless or selfish, you dip into both at different times. Hopefully, I can correct my selfishness from here on out, and I hope everyone can try to be more selfless than I was.

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